Top 5 Lunches remote working finally allows you to enjoy!

Author: Alan Mellor, almellor

Remote work let's you eat these - onions!

It has come to the attention of Yuuguu Central that the Future of Work is even brighter than we first thought.

Yes, it’s greener. Yes, it’s cheaper. Yes it’s more flexible. This much we know. But the real scoop?


We identified lunch as a ‘High Level Hazard’ for the office bound employee. It’s a jungle out there. There are the social norms – who sits with who? Who dares break rank from the pecking order of the canteen queue? The IT security issues: Did you really remember to lock your PC? Or will you spend this afternoon apologising for all the fake emails sent from ‘you’ by the IT interns? And there are even moral dilemmas thrown into the mix. Do you endure the hard road of sticking to your diet and exercise regime? Or succumb to the comforting easy pleasure of the pub lunch (again)?

Our Risk Analysis Spreadsheet never looked so grim.

Or so we thought. Until we looked at the upside. And like most upsides, we found it by simply looking at the greatest hazard through creative eyes.

The most difficult water that the hungry office worker has to navigate is choosing what to eat. A simple thing? By no means. Dare you eat what you like – but risk breaking the binding social contract of Maximum Permitted Office Stench? Or do you simply follow the herd – play safe, and become consigned to a life of sweetcorn and mayo salad (no onions)?

We realised immediately that we had a Future of Work winner on our hands. There is pure joy in being freed from office politics to be able to eat whatever you want, whenever you want it. So for your delight and delectation:

Team Yuuguu’s Top Five Remote Worker Lunches

  • 1. Curry

    Oh yes. A long time favourite of Team Yuuguu, something like a Chicken Pathia is sure to fire up the imagination in the afternoon. And possibly other areas. As a remote worker, the office-clearing properties of the garlic and chilli laden curry need only concern yourself. Result!
  • 2. Beetroot

    Our very own CTO Chris suggested Beetroot; that innocuous looking vegetable, with juice capable of rendering any office white shirt into something resembling the latest Saw movie. And yet all is well in the land of the remote worker. Your own, personal washroom facility and change of clothes is but a moment away.
  • And yes, we did ask: Beetroot? What – raw? The man must be an animal! Chris declined to expound further …

  • 3. Raw Onions

    Ah yes. Perhaps mild onions may be the edgiest thing you may dare to ask for on your salad whilst office-bound. Experience true freedom all the way up the onion scale! From freshly chopped strong onions all the way up to that slightly nauseous feeling found only on coaches on hot days where everyone took beef paste and onion sandwiches for lunch.

  • 4. Garlic German Sausage

    ‘Ist keine problem’ for the teleworker.

  • 5. Yesterday’s Blue Cheese and Tuna salad

    Blue cheese and tuna can leave an aroma that can test even the brave. Yet, prepared in the right hands, it can be a delight to eat (you probably want @phillColeman, and not @almellor on that job). We’re not quite sure if Mike’s suggestion of “yesterday’s” salad was borne from personal experience or not. But just when we thought we had covered all the benefits of remote work, in crashes another winner: You don’t even need to clean the kitchen if you don’t want to!

And as a bonus, perhaps the most intriguing suggestion:

6. Naked Lunch Friday

One of our staff, who shall remain nameless (@phillcoleman, whoops, slipped out, my backspace key seems to be broken…) suggested this gem. We’re not sure what’s more worrying, really. The sight of Phill eating his curry in one of his normal football shirts … or this. But either way, as a remote worker, even this ultimate option is available to you.

Do switch your video conferencing off, first, though.

Til next time –
Happy Unregulated Eating!


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